small

This year I have probably gone through the most dramatic personal changes than any before, and I don’t mean outside circumstances or anything of that sort. I mean me, just as a person. I’ve reexamined my life, my goals, and my desires, and there is one thing that I can say for sure that I want: simplicity. I have different definitions for things than I used to. Mostly I have learned to listen to myself and not ignore what I hear. I spent a very long time in my life trying to explain things to myself that I knew I couldn’t and it is really difficult to have a good relationship with yourself when you are constantly telling yourself to shut up.

This blog is definitely heading down a very different road than I thought it would when I first decided to set up a blog that connects to my shop, but hey… go where it takes ya, right?

So on my journey to better understanding myself, I have discovered that I truly have an appreciation for simplicity, for the spaces in between things, for a little more space in between everything! It’s a process. I had a big involuntary emptying out of my life, and in that couple of days that I had to very seriously decide what was so super important that I could not get by without it, I found that the answer was very little.

This is my car. Basically, I could only take what would fit in the trunk and backseat of this little tiny car. I absolutely adore my car. It is perfect for me. It’s tiny, it’s very economical, and its better for the environment. But if you have ever looked inside the trunk of a prius c you know it is about the size of a glove box. Lulu Blue and I had to sort through everything we had acquired over the course of our lives and keep only as much as we could fit in here. And we did. and I understood that it was infinitely more important to fit her stuff than mine, so I was completely ruthless in my selection process. And the only thing I miss out of everything that I left is… my cookbook. My notebook in which I wrote every recipe that I love. That’s it. everything else is just… whatever. I suffered over this for months. Seriously. I cried over all the stuff, all the clothes, the little knick knacks that were over every surface of my apartment. Each one of them had a memory attached to it. Funny enough, I still have the memories, so I guess I didn’t really need all the stuff. But I definitely mourned. And then I stopped being mad and I really realized how little I needed all that stuff and how much less I had to worry about. I mean, yes. I have a whole different set of things to worry about now, but they aren’t meaningless things and that’s really awesome.

Okay, okay. I am done going on and on. The point is that I love the fact that I have the things I most care about. The little blanket I made out of pieces of Lulu Blue’s baby clothes. The ring that belonged to my great-grandmother. The little art prints I picked up in Spain. Things that give me so much pleasure. It feels very intentional. This is good.

In case you want to try something similar, here are a few ideas for you. start small! Just cause I had to rip the bandaid off, doesn’t mean you need to.

Just to get you started. A little beautiful in-between space by Wolfgang Tillmans. Just makes me feel calm.
I started with clothes, cause that was really what I had the most of besides books. I was always under the impression that I needed something for any situation that may have at any point feasibly (or not) presented itself. Now I can make what I have suit the occasions that actually do arise. Its so nice.
I had an almost obsessive collection of books. Like, tons of books. This is a big one for me because if you know me you know I love to read and I love to have books. I still have books. I’m just much more careful when I consider which ones I actually need to have on my shelf. Honestly, I can see this getting out of hand again if I ever have the space though. Something for me to keep an eye on. That photo is my goal. One shelf.
This kitchen. Except with a coffee making device. Because I love my child, and I am a night owl trapped in a morning person’s life.
My old reading nook was very busy, lots of books and trinkets on shelves and It wasn’t bad or anything, but this is what I would be far more comfortable in these days.
Of course simple doesn’t have to mean boring. This living room is not my cup of tea, really, but I can appreciate the way it manages to be very simple and whimsical at the same time.
I’m throwing this in here just because it’s lovely and quite comforting. Maybe it’s the soup.

This is really just a way to remind myself of what really matters in my life. It’s not stuff. I will hang on to my Lulu Blue blanket for the rest of my life, and the ring, too. And then I will give them to Lulu Blue. And there are some other things I am sure that I will acquire over the years, but I feel better knowing that (for the most part) I can probably keep from getting a bunch of stuff that is not going to add to my happiness. Here is to living small.

love,

-Maca

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